We had started talking about going on another skate trip ever since we had returned from our last one to Hotlanta, and as the winter began to give way to warmer weather, we decided it was time to go and hit some new terrain, or in this case, some ridden terrain. Louisville, KY would be come the next target of the Hillbilly Rollers, and we set up plans for a full scale invasion of the town and it’s surrounding skate environs. So after several weeks of careful planning, I left work early on a Friday afternoon to met up with Jimmy and Nate, who, along with myself, would comprise the first wave of the invasion task force.
We left casa de cab that afternoon on a damp muggy day, the kind you can only get in the south after a few days of constant rain followed by a nice hot sun sucking all the moisture out of the ground to fill the air until just standing around you felt like you were swimming in a warm swimming pool. With all the supplies and various cargo items packed into the assault vehicle (aka Jim’s Bu) we got on I-75 and headed north.. The first part of the trip was uneventful, but as we crossed the state line, we began to notice a band of clouds beginning to form on our left. As navigator, I informed our communications/radar observer (aka Nate) of the potential threat. Being a good man, he promptly used the magic of a wireless broadband connection to give us an up to date reading on what lay ahead. He informed us that we could be running into a bit of weather as we headed further to the north. This would turn out to be much truer than any of our crew imagined.
As we progressed further toward our destination, the clouds to our west began to build into foreboding black wall of chaos. Soon it began to drizzle a bit, but soon the rain began to fall harder. As we discussed the prospects of precip at the skatepark, the storm began to whip itself into a furious maelstrom. The rain became harder and harder until visibility was only 20’ and the he speed of our assault vehicle had to be decreased to 35 mph. It soon became impossible to see the vehicles in front of us, when suddenly we looked over to witness fellow Subaru on the interstate embankment. This traveler had passed us just moments before at much higher and questionable speed than we had been driving. As his car came to rest and we spotted him, the guy’s face was still in a state of shock and white from the terror of a 360 to banked cess slide across three lanes of interstate highway. Seems that even symmetrical all-wheel drive was no match for the tempest we had entered. The monsoon continued pounding so hard that we were unable to talk and I felt like I was trapped in a beer can as it was pelted by gravel.
“Well it least it’s not hailing” quipped the comm/radar man.
He had not even finished the sentence than the gravel that had been pounding us turned to golf balls as the hail began to hit the windshield. We continued bravely forward, white knuckled and on the edge of our seats. But soon the torrential downpour began to abate and it mellowed to just another spring shower.
As we neared Lexington, we took a left and headed west. Another quick check of the radar on the interwebs told us that the storm had continued to build and was not trying to reach us from the south. Soon it was a race to see if we could beat the storm and make it to the Louisville Extreme Park before the rain that had been plaguing us all afternoon. As we arrived in Louisville, everything was still wet, so we headed straight for the skatepark. Upon arrival, it was still wet, so we took a quick walk about to reconnoiter the scene before heading to the Hyatt. But luck was on our side, and as we toured the park, the late afternoon sun came out and the park began to dry. Knowing that it would be a while before the park was skateable, we moseyed on over to the downtown Hyatt to check in.
After a we settled in and changed clothes, we wandered over to check out the 4th street entertainment district located in downtown Louisville and just about a 100 yards from our hotel. We looked around so that we would have a lay of the land for later in the evening, picked up some supplies at the CVS for later and headed back to the room and onward to the skatepark. As we got back to the room, a member or the second team who would be arriving the next day called and relayed the information that one of the junior recruits (aka Josh) was already in L-ville and looking for the session We got our act together and headed over to the park.
When we arrived, the concrete was dry for the most part and we began by warming up in the smaller section of the park. The Tech-Deck tour team was there, but it must have been their am team as they were trying a lot, but not really making much of anything. We sessioned the small stuff for a bit, and then we headed to the most extreme part of the Louisville Extreme Park, the fullpipe section. This section is a monster with a 8’ section leading to a 11’ section on into a 24’ fullpipe and ending in a 12’ bowl. This was no kiddy area, this is were the real men came to play. It was still as massive as I remember it from the last time I visited five years before, and even though I was able to skate it a bit better, it was still intimidating. Nate was ripping the 11’ section, doing lien-to-tails, b-side airs, r-n-r’s, and inverts. Jimmy was cruising some smooth lines, and I was able to get a few grinds in. We skated for a bit and then Josh showed up and skated the deep section with smooth lines and authority, doing body jars, 50-50’s and B-side and F-side airs. The full pipe still had a bit of water running through it, so we stayed away, but this did not seem to bather some of the local kids who were doing 10:30 with no pads and running through the puddles. After about an hour and a half of hard skating, us old men were beginning to wear down, so we hung out and rapped with Josh’s folks for a bit while we watched their son rip. Soon the session was over and it was time to head back to the hotel.
We made our way back to the home base and refreshed and rejuvenated ourselves and prepared for the evenings festivities. Once we were ready, we made our way to the 4th st. entertainment district that was just a few yards from our hotel. Jimmy was in rare form, and talking to every girls we passed. There happened to be a wedding that weekend at the hotel, so this gave us plenty of nicely dressed women to hassle with our skatebilly attitudes. As we were riding the elevator down to the lobby, one of the wedding attendees entered the elevator only to be accosted by the wild eyed southern skaters.
“Hellllllooo there! Were you from?” Asked jimmy in his best hillbilly drawl.
“D.C.” she politely said, her eyes averted, a look of disgust on her face that she was having to deal with a bunch of crazy hillbillies.
We exited the elevator and she continued down, only to run into us again moments later on the escalator in the lobby. “Hellllloooo! Miss your floor?” jimmy once again shouted at her from across the lobby. She did not seem to be entertained.
We continued on to 4th street and soon found ourselves parked at the bar of an Irish pub, while a blues band played live music in the background. I was not aware that deep southern blues was a staple of the Irish culture; be then again what the hell does my hillbilly ass know. Jimmy immediately made fast friends with the band, while I ate the best potato cakes that I had ever had in my life. After fueling up the internal monster, we decided that rather than wander around trying to find the fun that we would ask one whose local knowledge would be unquestionable, the bartender.
“You guys need to go across the street to Sully’s” he told us.
“Thanks man that sounds great” we said and tipped him a fiver for the info.
We made out way across the street and into the crazy ass dance club filled with players, wannabes, and sluts. Soon we lost jimmy in the crowd and I took off to look for him only to find him staring up to some midget girl dancing on a raised platform while jimmy gently patted her on the ass. The tiny girl seemed to be enjoying it and Jimmy had a grin from ear to ear. We congregated for a short time and laughed at all the idiots in the place, but soon Jimmy disappeared again. After a few minutes, and a few more beveraqges, we decided that it was getting to be nap time, so we looked around for our missing amigo. After and extended recon mission, Jimmy was no longer to be found in the club. I soon began to worry about our missing comrade and could see him in my minds eye, stumbling around downtown Louisville, lost and passing out on the gutter.
“Do you have a room key?” I asked Nate.
“No” her replied.
“Well, I have a key, and if you don’t have the other one, then Jimmy must have it” I said. “He must have headed back to the room”. So we called it a night and headed back.
As I walked out of the 4th st. area, I know I need to stop by the Quickie Mart and pick up a snack and additional beverages. I looked around the corner I was standing at and spotted a hippie with a bike rickshaw that he was giving people rides in to make a dime or two.
“Hey man, where is the nearest Quickie Mart?” I asked the bike hippy.
“Right down there, you need a ride?” he asked
“How much for a ride to the store and back to the Hyatt?” says I.
“10 bucks” came his reply.
So Nate and I climbed aboard and the hippy took us on a ride. After I secured the needed supplies, the hippy began to once again pedal us down the street. Weird thing about Louisville seems that they don’t like to put your tasty dinks in a bag, even if you ask.
“Hey man,” Nate asked our bike driver “Is it cool if I enjoy one of these nice beverages right now while you’re driving us down the street to the hotel?”
“Sure dude,” says hippy man “wear it out.”
So here we are, downtown Louisville, getting biked around by a hippy, with a cold twelve pack in Nate’s lap and a cold thirst quencher in hand. Maybe there is something good up here in these decadent, liberal cities of the north.
Upon arrival to the room, we found Jimmy asleep, but that would just not do, so we woke him up. This turned out to be a mistake. Before long, the night was getting long and I was getting tired, so I hit the sack while the others decided to stay up and talk shit. After a while of listening to their loud banter, I could take no more. I did want to skate SOMETIME the next day.
“DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!!!!” I yelled.
“No” came the reply.
“IT IS 3:30” I informed them.
“Nu-uh” came the reply.
“Yes it is”
“uh-oh”
They then got the idea and finally the room was calm as we all bedded down for a bit of much needed shut eye.
The next morning came cloudy and overcast. Soon after awakening, we received communication from the second wave in the task force. They had left the home base of K-town early in the morning and had just arrived at the skatepark in Dry Ridge KY. Although reports were positive on the park, the members of Task Force One decided to opt for breakfast and to rendezvous with the second team a bit later in the day at Ollie’s skatepark in Florence KY, just across the river from Cincinnati. We asked the concierge at the Hyatt where the nearest place to get a good breakfast was at, and he indicated that the nearest establishment was the Waffle House. Only problem was the Waffle House was in and entirely different STATE than the one we currently occupied. Lucky, the next state was just a bridge ride away across the river. So we traveled to Indiana for our breakfast.
Upon entering the Waffle House, we immediately notice there were a few differences between these Northern Waffle Houses and the ones back home in the hills. To begin with, they did not even know the words to “Meet me at the Waffle House”, much less who Marshall Andy is. We proceeded to confuse the waitress by ordering or food in a counter-clockwise sequence, as opposed to the clockwise order that the waitresses script required, blowing her mind and flustering her so badly that she forgot to even get us coffee.
After our two state quest for a meal, we made it back to the hotel and prepared for a long day of driving and skating. We arrived at Ollie’s and finally linked up with Task Force Number Two and proceeded to skate. Although I am not particularly fond of indoor parks in general, anything is good on a rainy day, and Olllie’s proved to be one of the finest indoor Masonite parks that I have ever skated. With a large street area, several mini halfs, a bowl and a Megalarge vert ramp, Ollie’s had something for everyone. I started out in the bowl with Ubergeek (aka Kirk), and encouraged him as he dropped into the deep end, the largest thing he had ever dropped and a personal accomplishment for him. Rip it up Uber! Next I moved over to the 6’ mini where most of the action was going on. This mini was about 40+ feet long, ending in a small bowl with several levels and escalators along its length. Nate was ripping it up with smooth lines. Josh was skating the ramp like a man, fast and clean. Bob was hitting it hard with some b-side airs and long carving lines. Donnie was ripping it up with some nice wheelers and smooth lines. Jr. Recruit Number 2 (aka Louis) was ripping it up and having a great time hanging with the old guys and showing us all how it is done. Jimmy cranking out wheelers and I was having a blast riding the full length of the ramp and grinding to my hearts content. Ubergeek topped his previous accomplishments in the bowl by successfully dropping in on the highest part of the ramp. We soon moved the session over to the megahuge vert ramp. This ramp was a true monster at 13’ tall with about 2’ of vert. Although all of us made it up on to the deck to look down at the hugeness of the structure, but only Nate and Josh had the cajones to drop in on the monstrosity. Josh was ripping up the massive transitions with F and B airs, and Nate stepped up to do a huge rock-n-roll. I fakied up from the flat and got really weightless before realizing just how big that ramp is. Makes me wish that we has some bigger terrain in Knoxville.
We soon began to wear down, and we decided to head back to Louisville. Squad Leader and Transportation sergeant (aka Bob) informed us that the Louisville locals and members of the Concretins Team had invited us all out for a bit of a ramp jam at one of the local ramps owned by a guy named Phil. We made our way back to the Hyatt, cleaned up and walked back down to 4th st. to get a bit of dinner. After a lovely dinner at Friday’s we headed out to the next skate spot of the tour. After letting GPS get us lost for a little while, we finally found Phil’s place. The whole place was really nice, lots of good land with a pond and a killer ramp. As we arrived there was already a session in full effect. There were about 5-6 Concretins there skating, and a whole crew of others hanging out riding ATV’s and checking out the skating. Although we had decided that we had enough skating already for that day, the ramp looked so nice it was impossible not to give it a whirl. We suited up and began to skate right before the sun went down. The ramp was excellent, 9’ trans cut off at 7’, skatelite surface and really nice, smooth and slippery coping. Everyone was ripping, and I don’t know most of the names, but I do know that Phil and Nate were both tearing it up. Nate was doing a fine job representing the hillbilly faction doing f-side rocks, f-side 50-50’s, sweepers, crails, and more. Phil was also ripping with nosepicks, blunt to axle and more. The session continued until after the sun went down and then the lights were pulled out to keep the stoke alive. Finally we decide to head back to the room before it became to late, so we loaded up and headed back. It was one of the best ramps that I have skated and I am looking forward to getting back there next time I am up that way.
We headed back to the room to just have a couple of frosty bevs and hit the sack for tomorrow, but once we arrived I decided that I would walk down to 4th instead, have one and come right back to the room. After all, we were on vacation. Jimmy decided to join me and Nate was to hold down the fort. So we headed out. We got down to 4th st, quenched our thirst and headed back to the room. We entered the hotel and hit the elevator. We had only made it one floor when the doors opened and two girls in fancy party dresses got on. The wedding was in full effect. The girls held the door open while one of the concierge rolled on a third girl in a wheelchair and a ice pack on her ankle.
“Owww, my foot” (moan) said wheelchair girl.
“You did a little bit too much dancing” said the second girl
“I hope no one steals my silver shoes” says wheelchair girl.
“Some one will get them for you” says the third girl”
At this point, Jimmy, with a very intent look on his face bends down toward the girl in the wheelchair who is moaning and rubbing her ankle.
“Aren’t you from D.C?” asks Jimmy in his best hillbilly drawl.
It was our old friend DC! She looked up slowly, to jimmy’s huge Cheshire cat grin. Her face was a mixture of surprise, embarrassment, and disgust. The room went silent, except for Jimmy’s grin which you could almost hear. Not another sound was heard until the doors opened and they wheeled her off and she started to whine again. I think we made a good impression. We got back to the room, and that was it, tired from another long day of driving and skating, we hit the sack and waited for the next session.
The next morning we got up and headed down to breakfast. After traveling to another state for breakfast the day before, we had noticed that they served breakfast in the restaurant downstairs in the Hyatt. Although a bit more expensive than the Waffle house the waitress was much more professional and the food was excellent. We headed back up to the 16th floor, packed up our stuff, and headed for the Louisville Extreme Park. When we arrive, Bob and Task Force 2 had already arrived and were sessioning. The park was pretty deserted and the while place had finally dried up. It was time to work the pipe a bit. After just a bit, the Cretins began to show and soon it was a full on old man session. Phil told us about this 20 year old kid that ripped was on his way down to the park. And man was he right. The Kids name was Dane and he was tearing the big stuff apart. 4’ airs, Judos, smith grinds, flappy inverts and andrects, all while wearing a jazzman hat and no pads. Bob was getting pretty far up in the pipe, nate hung his foot on the coping doing an invert and about ate it, Uber was sweating in the 52 degree weather for skating so hard, and Donnie, Jimmy and Louis were cruising the pipe. I tried to make the entire line from top to bottom and back quite few times, but each time would wind up 4’ short. We need bigger stuff to ride in Knoxville. After about an hour, we were worn to a nub, so we deicded to quit while we where ahead and slide on south to K-town.
The drive back was long and only served to make us all stiff as a board by the time we reached Knoxvegas. It was good to be home, and I was looking forward to skating our park again, knowing that after Louisville, everything at our park would look small. Guess we are gonna have to get on it……
